Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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