i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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