Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
In other news, I just burned my penis
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize