I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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