I didn't shave. On purpose
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
