Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
