i don't like sucking hair
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
When are your genitals available?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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