so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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