it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
