How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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