i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
