Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
