its not stalking. its research.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
