we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize