So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
