I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
