oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
