I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
