We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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