she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
