I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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