There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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