Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
