i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
