I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
