If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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