I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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