Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
