Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
