Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
