is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
