What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
two words...techno handjob
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
