So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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