I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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