You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
