This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
