when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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