whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
