By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
