Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
