people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
