I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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