And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
