How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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