Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
