she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
