Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
