We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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