i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
