honey bunches of taint.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
