Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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