If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
