Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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