Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
