Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
