Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize