Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
