Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
