walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
this hospital has no fireball
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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