I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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